[ death is inevitable; even someone from a distant, small village town is aware of that much. but for it to be more commonplace than its expected norm, especially outside the realm of war — it's unsettling.
that's no way to live, phainon types, but decides against sending it. instead: ]
So when you've mentioned the color blue, along with the provided reasoning behind what you've chosen...
Is it right to assume that you've long since divorced yourself from those outdated traditions, even prior to your arrival to this world? and endeavored in a lifestyle that better suits what you truly believe in.
Yes. Though it belonged to another familiga who at the time when I returned had me as their bodyguard for the son of it, I liked the color more than the reds I used to wear.
(had he said that, she would have agreed with him. that was no way to live, there was no joy, no sorrow. their fellow men and women were all looked at as though they weren't something meant to live. capo's could murder indiscriminately, ending those who they thought had overstepped their position as long as the signora didn't disapprove of their actions. civilians, their underlings, it didn't matter. the children were to suffer themselves with the expectation of what shall be their lives.
except texas, cellinia, had thought to herself during those days of bygone youth that she was not so certain. her grandfather had spoken of honor, of integrity. of chivalrous dreams and affection about his beloved homeland that he missed dearly. he wanted his grandchild to see it, to learn and know her roots in preparation to take up the mantle. all cellinia had seen was death and rain, life held no place there. any attempts at living were met with soul crushing agony and oppression because the wolves do not take kindly to those changing their ways. wolf eat wolf, that was the law of siracusa.
the weak are meant to be destroyed.)
It isn't as easy as it might look, to find what you want in life, and even often now I wonder if everything had been worth it. Some might view it as a betrayal, others might look at you with such scorn for going against what should have been. Those of us who break from the pack are called lone wolves and looked at with more disdain than anything.
Lowest of the low, unworthy of being allowed back into the fold. For me....(she pauses, normally she doesn't talk this candidly, but maybe she can blame elysia for that.)It doesn't matter how they look at me.
Living that way. There isn't anything warm or kind about it, it's only like waiting until the end as life begins to grow more suffocating and oppressive.
[ being exiled from his own home — he couldn't imagine the plight, but can conjecture the weight of grief, then the blanketing liberation, serving as a quiet, reassuring balm despite everything.
it isn't easy. phainon's aware of it. he sees it in his comrades, the sacrificial nature that comes with their shared flame-chase journey. banking on the new era, their hopes and long-term dreams set on the back-burner, it's a decision they all made of their own accord.
it goes without saying: ]
Doubt is inevitable, but so is the lifelong regret if you were to remain, of knowing there is more to one's life than the limitations forcefully placed upon them since birth. With the life that has been afforded to you, it is meaningless to allow it to waste away trying to fulfill expectations that doesn't even satisfy your own personal ideals. It is a relief that you are aware of this much.
Many will not perceive you in such a light anyway, especially here where a variety of life wanders about, with a handful of experiences to delight and share sorrows in. Perhaps your story may be the key motivator to one or plenty of others to come who share similar grievances.
And while my words may be of no importance, I do hope, since then, you are able to experience many serendipitous occurrences that you wouldn't have otherwise. The world may not always be filled with warmth and fortuitous kindness, but it is, at the very least, filled with an abundant of opportunities to revel in.
(freedom, it can be a lovely thing. she's not above valuing it, even embracing it as a natural part of herself. she would live, she wouldn't allow herself to fall to pieces. what good is that? it does nothing, it solves nothing, even as she struggles with allowing herself to be vulnerable. drop her guard down and simply let others have the chance to see her when she's at ease. whenever she isn't so buried down by these burdens, this everything, she carries on alone without a second thought.
it's amusing in a sense, she would only have two imprints because of this when the month ends. but this isn't something the current cellinia knows, not even realizes. this is a discussion they are having now, a discussion about many things that might never change to some.
but to them, to those who put their everything into it while dreaming, it's only fitting. on the backs of those willing, they carry on. there would be no doubt in that, not even as they resist with everything that they have left. she's always been like this, doing the same and hoping in her heart for an answer to the question she's always carried after that day.
if it's worth it, if it ever was worth it.)
That's how it's always been, right? Those who can break free, they do it with everything they have when the last part of themselves that's held down is no longer tied to what once tore them apart.
Living is something that's never easy, but despite never having those answers, I wouldn't want to stop chasing it. Life itself, freedom, and the joys that it might bring. I don't need anything more than that. The past can't be changed, it will never be changed. What matters more is the present and future, what you're willing to do, even if some might never see the reasons for your choices.
Living and freedom shouldn't be a luxury, anyway. I've found what I wanted most, piece by piece. That's enough for me, while I hope those I cared for never have to find themselves in a situation similar to my own again.
those moments lived, made fleeting, settle into a haze of memories recalled. so, too, does the flesh from before shed into somebody else anew — with their lessons learned and retained, traversing further towards the sunlight of a promised tomorrow.
texas' words resonates, like little reminders often received even back in amphoreus — given to him because phainon's believed in for reasons he may always fail to fathom on his own. he smiles, and only has one thing to say: ]
They likely won't because they have you to guide them whenever they go astray, won't they?
[ in a more idealistic world, it'll work out that way. but reality is less kind; phainon's aware of that, still. effort is better than nothing though. ]
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no subject
Date: 2025-08-28 12:54 am (UTC)that's no way to live, phainon types, but decides against sending it. instead: ]
So when you've mentioned the color blue, along with the provided reasoning behind what you've chosen...
Is it right to assume that you've long since divorced yourself from those outdated traditions, even prior to your arrival to this world? and endeavored in a lifestyle that better suits what you truly believe in.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-29 09:40 am (UTC)Though it belonged to another familiga who at the time when I returned had me as their bodyguard for the son of it, I liked the color more than the reds I used to wear.
(had he said that, she would have agreed with him. that was no way to live, there was no joy, no sorrow. their fellow men and women were all looked at as though they weren't something meant to live. capo's could murder indiscriminately, ending those who they thought had overstepped their position as long as the signora didn't disapprove of their actions. civilians, their underlings, it didn't matter. the children were to suffer themselves with the expectation of what shall be their lives.
except texas, cellinia, had thought to herself during those days of bygone youth that she was not so certain. her grandfather had spoken of honor, of integrity. of chivalrous dreams and affection about his beloved homeland that he missed dearly. he wanted his grandchild to see it, to learn and know her roots in preparation to take up the mantle. all cellinia had seen was death and rain, life held no place there. any attempts at living were met with soul crushing agony and oppression because the wolves do not take kindly to those changing their ways. wolf eat wolf, that was the law of siracusa.
the weak are meant to be destroyed.)
It isn't as easy as it might look, to find what you want in life, and even often now I wonder if everything had been worth it.
Some might view it as a betrayal, others might look at you with such scorn for going against what should have been. Those of us who break from the pack are called lone wolves and looked at with more disdain than anything.
Lowest of the low, unworthy of being allowed back into the fold. For me.... (she pauses, normally she doesn't talk this candidly, but maybe she can blame elysia for that.) It doesn't matter how they look at me.
Living that way. There isn't anything warm or kind about it, it's only like waiting until the end as life begins to grow more suffocating and oppressive.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-04 11:43 am (UTC)[ being exiled from his own home — he couldn't imagine the plight, but can conjecture the weight of grief, then the blanketing liberation, serving as a quiet, reassuring balm despite everything.
it isn't easy. phainon's aware of it. he sees it in his comrades, the sacrificial nature that comes with their shared flame-chase journey. banking on the new era, their hopes and long-term dreams set on the back-burner, it's a decision they all made of their own accord.
it goes without saying: ]
Doubt is inevitable, but so is the lifelong regret if you were to remain, of knowing there is more to one's life than the limitations forcefully placed upon them since birth. With the life that has been afforded to you, it is meaningless to allow it to waste away trying to fulfill expectations that doesn't even satisfy your own personal ideals. It is a relief that you are aware of this much.
Many will not perceive you in such a light anyway, especially here where a variety of life wanders about, with a handful of experiences to delight and share sorrows in. Perhaps your story may be the key motivator to one or plenty of others to come who share similar grievances.
And while my words may be of no importance, I do hope, since then, you are able to experience many serendipitous occurrences that you wouldn't have otherwise. The world may not always be filled with warmth and fortuitous kindness, but it is, at the very least, filled with an abundant of opportunities to revel in.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-05 07:39 pm (UTC)it's amusing in a sense, she would only have two imprints because of this when the month ends. but this isn't something the current cellinia knows, not even realizes. this is a discussion they are having now, a discussion about many things that might never change to some.
but to them, to those who put their everything into it while dreaming, it's only fitting. on the backs of those willing, they carry on. there would be no doubt in that, not even as they resist with everything that they have left. she's always been like this, doing the same and hoping in her heart for an answer to the question she's always carried after that day.
if it's worth it, if it ever was worth it.)
That's how it's always been, right? Those who can break free, they do it with everything they have when the last part of themselves that's held down is no longer tied to what once tore them apart.
Living is something that's never easy, but despite never having those answers, I wouldn't want to stop chasing it. Life itself, freedom, and the joys that it might bring. I don't need anything more than that. The past can't be changed, it will never be changed. What matters more is the present and future, what you're willing to do, even if some might never see the reasons for your choices.
Living and freedom shouldn't be a luxury, anyway. I've found what I wanted most, piece by piece. That's enough for me, while I hope those I cared for never have to find themselves in a situation similar to my own again.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-11 01:40 am (UTC)those moments lived, made fleeting, settle into a haze of memories recalled. so, too, does the flesh from before shed into somebody else anew — with their lessons learned and retained, traversing further towards the sunlight of a promised tomorrow.
texas' words resonates, like little reminders often received even back in amphoreus — given to him because phainon's believed in for reasons he may always fail to fathom on his own. he smiles, and only has one thing to say: ]
They likely won't because they have you to guide them whenever they go astray, won't they?
[ in a more idealistic world, it'll work out that way. but reality is less kind; phainon's aware of that, still. effort is better than nothing though. ]